F*CK IT FOOD

If you follow my blog or know me, you know I am a from scratch baker and home cook. But I am not above what I like to call Fuck It food. This goes out of my normal of French homemade, gluten free dishes. Today I want to reach out to my All-American, Mclovin' it, canned food eatin' Pillsbury dough folks. 

I have a collection of recipes at home filled with FUCK IT food. This is the shit you eat when you don't give a fuck. You put on your pajamas and eat the hell out of this because fuck everyone. And a sponge worthy recipe if I may say so myself. 

So make this on days when everyone can go to hell. Eat the whole damn pan in self-loathing/liberation and don't even worry about the 10 lbs you feel like you gained. It's so worth it. 

*WARNING: THIS IS NOT GLUTEN FREE, HEALTHY, CLEAN, OR GROWN ON THE HOMESTEAD. THIS IS FUCK IT FOOD*

Ingredients

• 2 crescent roll packages. 
• 2 8oz pks of cream cheese
• 1 egg
• 1 TSP vanilla
• 1 cup sugar +1/2 for topping
• 2 TBSP Cinnamon

Instructions

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Using a hand mixer or a kitchen aid, beat together the cream cheese, vanilla, partially beaten egg, and ½ cup sugar until smooth.

Mix together the rest of the sugar (1/2 cup) and 2 tablespoons cinnamon. Set aside.
Spray a 9x13 baking dish with cooking spray and sprinkle ¼ cup (or half) of your cinnamon sugar mixture evenly into the bottom of the 9x13.

On a piece of parchment paper, roll out your crescent dinner roll dough into a big 9x13 square and press the seams together so the dough is completely sealed. Set the dough in the bottom of your 9x13 baking dish on top of the cinnamon sugar.

Spread the cheesecake evenly on top of your dough and unroll the other can of crescent dough and place on top also making sure that the seams are completely sealed.

Sprinkle the top with the remaining ¼ cup of cinnamon sugar mixture and bake for 30-35 minutes or until golden brown.

Garbure (French Ham and Vegetable Stew)

Garbure is a flavorful peasant stew from Gascony France. It's a very simple recipe, but very rich and bold. If this is how the peasants of France ate, it's hard to imagine them missing out on much. I love French food. This blog is dedicated to French and gluten free food. Today is a sad day for Paris. There have been mass shootings and at this point at least 153 people have died, others injured and taken hostage. What do you even say? Welcome to living in fear like we did for so long after 9/11? Hopefully this won't happen again? Not comforting. France will never forget this and neither will the world. Tragic. But all we can do now is show support and enjoy the simple beauty of French food and culture. After all, they brought us the best type of kissing, the most amazing art, an existential outlook on life, and the Statue of Liberty. Merci beaucoup.   


Ingredients

1 1/2 cups thinly sliced leek (about 1 large)
4 garlic cloves, chopped
4 cups no-salt-added chicken stock 
1/2 teaspoon dried herbes de Provence
1 cross-cut smoked ham hock (about 8 ounces)
1 bay leaf
6 ounces red potatoes, cubed
6 ounces turnip, cubed
1 large carrot, cubed 
4 cups thinly sliced Savoy cabbage
1/4 cup chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley
2 tablespoons chopped fresh thyme
1 1/2 tablespoons cider vinegar
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
6 (1-ounce) slices country bread, toasted
1 garlic clove, halved
1 tablespoon butter, softened

 Directions 

1. Sort and wash beans. Place in a large Dutch oven. Cover with water to 2 inches above beans. Cover and let stand for 8 hours or overnight. Drain. (or use canned)
2. Heat oil in a large Dutch oven over medium heat; swirl to coat. Add onion. Cover and cook 8 minutes or until tender, stirring occasionally. Add leek and chopped garlic; cook 2 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add soaked beans, stock, herbes de Provence, ham hocks, and bay leaf. Bring to a boil. Cover, reduce heat, and simmer 1 hour or until beans are just tender. Remove ham hock; cool slightly. Pick meat from bones; reserve meat. Discard bones and fat.
3. Add potatoes, turnip, and carrot to pan; cook 10 minutes or until tender. Stir in cabbage; simmer 4 minutes. Stir in parsley, thyme, vinegar, salt, and black pepper.
4. Rub toast slices with cut sides of garlic clove; spread evenly with butter. Serve toast with soup.

Potato Leek Soup Made With Your Best Julia Child Voice

Tonight I made Potato and Leek soup. Julia Child's recipe. This simple soup is elegant, creamy, and requires no adaptation to add flavor. The only thing I add to the soup is my Julia Child voice, which i'm told is on point.

French food is my specialty. I love how simple and clean it is. There is so much variety in a meal. Looking back over the recipes I have written in this blog, they are all French. I shifted away for a while to explore other cuisine, but I can't stay away from the fragrant, uncomplicated beauty of French food.

This is one of my favorite soups as it is. If you feel that you need to add a bunch of other ingredients, many people have adapted version of this recipe online. But here is the original from Julia Child's Master the Art of French Cooking.

This is a beautiful soup. I hope you enjoy this as much as I do. It's the perfect time of year for it, too. When 4:30 pm feels like 6 and 6 pm feels like midnight. And don't forget dessert.

I may also add that I didn't use Russet potatoes. She doesn't specify the type of potato. I used 10 red and 10 yellow potatoes.

Ingredients:
1 lb potato, peeled 
3 cups leeks, thinly sliced (white and tender green parts only)
2 quarts water
1 tablespoon salt
4 -6 tablespoons whipping cream or 2 -3 tablespoons softened butter
2 -3 tablespoons chive

Directions:
Simmer vegetables, water and salt together, partially covered, 40-50 minutes until vegetables are tender.

Mash the vegetables in the soup with a fork, or puree in blender. Correct seasoning.

Just before serving, stir in cream or butter by spoonfuls. Add chives

That's it. Nothing but simple, clean food. Although I suggest having a slice of French ganache tart with it. I made one the other night. I didn't post my recipe, but if you want it I am happy to share it.
Happy cooking. I hope you all have help in the kitchen.

Insomnia Makes me Hungry

I found this blog. I completely forgot about it. Reading back at my life in 2012-13, I am so glad it's over. Onward and upward! Thank goodness for tomorrow. My tomorrows are finally something to look forward to. After years of heartache, I am back and happy.

I can't sleep. I am so tired but I just can't make it into bed. There are too many things to do. Nothing necessary, but with my child asleep and my husband out of town, between 9pm-6am I have all the time in the world. Who needs sleep when you can bake pie crusts.

Aside from the 3 meals I created today for my child, I made sausage and apple cornbread stuffing baked into an acorn squash and a French ganache pie. And it's only 10pm!

Insomnia makes me hungry.


Like so many white women in yoga pants drinking lattes, I love fall. Not for sweaters, I wear them year round (yes, folks, even in summer- no I dont have a thyroid problem), Not so much for the artificially
flavored pumpkin nonsense you all love so much, but for a similar reason: winter squash. Winter vegetables in general. I love root vegetables. I love to roast carrots, parsnips and beets-- stuff things into gourds and baked them, and most importantly, baking sweets.

 I long for the days when my daughter can sit still on the counter and be my official pourer and stirrer. I love to cook so much, but what I want more than ever is for my daughter to cook with me. We can use our silly Julia Child voices as we braise cucumbers, bake fresh baguettes, and chocolate cream pies. I want her to develop a sense of giving when she cooks, too. "Let's bake bread for the neighbors!" She will exclaim, "With tiny bottles of rosemary infused olive oil!" That's my girl. And of course she will want to wear the aprons we made together. A mom can dream, right?

And just a reminder, you never have to ask if something I  have made is gluten free because it's always gluten free. And if you want a recipe, I would be happy to give it to you.

Happy cooking. I hope you all have help in the kitchen.